Is it too early or is it too late?

It's 2:23Am as I embark on writing this next post. I went to bed at approximately 11:30 pm and have unsuccessfully tried to fall asleep. So, I do what I normally do on nights I can't sleep. I pray, read my Bible, and chill. I have class at 8am, then a span for a nap, hopefully that will help me but I know God gives me the strength for any challenge I face so tomorrow will be surmountable. This first week back at school has faced me with some challenges again, one primarily is that I realize how far I drift in my walk with God and I realize also how similar I am to the Israelites of the Old Testament. Now by this I don't mean that I have a big nose and am Jewish, well actually my nose is a little big, but what I really mean is that when things are good in life I neglect my relationship with God and feel like I can do it on my own. Then when I am again faced with struggles, I come crawling back begging for help. It's really silly actually, I wonder how long I will be on this spiritual see-saw, besides when I was a kid, the see-saw always hurt my butt so I want off!
But how?! How does one get off the spiritual see-saw of self reliance vs. God reliance. I realize during hard times that apart from God I am nothing and can do nothing, literally, can not sleep, do nothing. However, when things start looking up I become as giddy as a school boy and run along with no regard for who corrected my predicament. The problem is this, I am all jacked up on emotions. I feel this, I feel that, it dictates my fellowship with the one true God. That is not the model shown by David of Israel, it is more like the model shown by Samson and we all know where that got him. David was a man after God's own heart, and in the midst of his screw ups, there is evidence from his Psalms that he understood that apart from God he was nothing. I pray that in the coming semeseter the Lord gives me direction, strength, and a desire to stay tight no matter the circumstances and kick emotions to the side because they never tell the truth anyway.
Until next time..